Seniority

I’m the kind of person that hits high highs and low lows. I’m sure most of us are to a certain extent, but sometimes I think that I lean far in that direction. There can be a middle ground for me but that generally comes when I’m distracted by the rest of my life.

Lucky for me, I’m often distracted. I stay busy, have many friends, many hobbies and am ambitious. Full, busy days for me are happy days. With that being said, I’m also grateful for the extremes that I feel. While the lows can be rough, I thank them for making the highs so much better.

Today is a snow day. I don’t have class but classes have been cancelled. McKinney closed and I didn’t have to go in, but was instructed to work from home. Because of her job, Kristin (my roommate) spent the night in Raleigh and so I spent most of my day alone.

I’m some weird combination of an extroverted introvert. I am extremely outgoing, love meeting people, and enjoy conversation. With that being said, I highly value my alone time and find sanctitude there. It is impossible for me to maintain my optimistic, bubbly disposition if I am around the clock surrounded by people. Maybe I’m needy, but I require balance.

I spent most of my day alone. I woke up and was ready to tackle my tasks – take on the work I had set out for myself, and there was no shortage of it. Little by little, the lows started to creep in. I like to think that I’m still balanced – that the high in which my day begun needed to be counteracted with a low, but I was struggling to chase it away. Normally, I’d face it with a good work out, a run or a yoga class but the snow proved to be my biggest monster, making all of those remedies unavailable. The next best thing I could think of was to surround myself with good people.

I met a group of friends at He’s Not for a mid-day blue cup, disregarding my responsibilities for a few hours. We laughed and we talked, chatting about our lives and our travels, our futures and our pasts. We talked about things that in the dark might make us anxious, but in the light, in that booth, seemed to be just another thing that a twenty-something routinely encounters, something that happens to all of us seniors in some way, shape or form. We worked through sticky spots – like the birthday of one of my high school classmates that has since been lost to cancer to the looming and incomprehensible task of securing employment to the terrifying consideration that perhaps there’s a career option that we may have overlooked and failed to prepare for – with a shoulder to lean on and firm, yet lighthearted support.

On your own, the world is scary. Sometimes I truly resent college because I’m surrounded constantly and exclusively by other students my age – geniuses that are equally concerned with their futures and are constantly in competition with their peers. Existing in an environment in which everyone is always striving to appear to be the very best – whether in class, on the court, or at the bar – is exhausting. But at the same time, every yin has its yang. In a time so unsteady, so unsure, it is absolutely wonderful to have people who simply understand and don’t need to attempt to empathize. To have people that have both similar and diverse interests but still get exactly where you are because they are there too. So this one’s to you my friends, for helping me get through these last four years with a smile on my face and optimism in mind. I don’t know what I’d do without y’alll and I’m looking forward to these last few months of enjoying Seniority to it’s fullest.

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